I wasn't missing him.
That's why I threw my phone on the couch after texting him goodnight and drifted off to sleep last night.
In the morning, Bruno woke me up by jumping on the bed and snuggling beside me, just the way he always does when I sleep a little longer than usual.
After getting ready in a simple pastel purple suit, I walked downstairs to have breakfast with the family. I even made kheer for us, as Mumma had asked me yesterday what I would prepare for my pehli rasoi.
She dramatically said, "Humare liye to chai tak nahi banai tune," which filled the dining table with laughter.
Yesterday, I felt really happy because Papa and I talked. He asked, "How are you feeling?" to which I just hugged him.
Later, after breakfast, I returned to my room in the evening and picked a random book from the bookshelf, squealing in excitement.
An hour later, the sun began to paint the sky in orange hues. Walking onto the balcony, I settled into a chair and admired the beauty of nature.
The mild sunlight lingered, and the cold wind sent shivers down my spine, yet I sat there watching the sun descend until darkness enveloped the sky, allowing the glimmering stars to shine.
Fetching my phone, I opened the camera to capture the view in front of me. Suddenly, a message popped up on the screen, prompting me to exit the camera and open the messaging app.
Ivan : I've made a list of hackers, full of experience and knowledge. I'll send it to you, and then you can decide which one will work for you.
My brows scrunched while reading his text. Is he serious? I asked him to find me a hacker, not to compile a damn list. It's been four days since I received that text. I didn't delete it because it might help the hacker find the person who's been texting me—more like threatening me.
Wiping my sweaty palms on my thigh, I typed and sent a response.
Me : Just bring me a damn hacker, Ivan. Select anyone you want and bring them to the office.
His reply came instantly, followed by another text.
Ivan : Got it.
Ivan : When should I bring them?
My fingers halted over the keyboard as I thought. I'm not going to the office for at least a week, so having the hacker there would mean extra work for Ivan. He's already managing things on my behalf.
Me : After a week.
A few seconds later, he texted back.
Ivan : Okay, ma'am. Have a great evening.
Bidding him goodbye, I walked back into my room, where Avni Di was sitting on my bed, scrolling through her phone.
I slumped beside her; sitting on the chair for two hours had drained all my energy. Placing my head on her shoulder, I watched the reels she was scrolling through on Instagram.
We giggled at funny memes, craved food after watching food reels, and got emotional over parental ones. Scrolling down, she stopped at a particular reel for longer than necessary.
In the video, a bride held the groom's hand and searched for her name. A few seconds later, cheering filled her surroundings as she pointed at his palm, showing her name.
Di chuckled, then suddenly narrowed her eyes at me. "Did you find your name in his hands?" she queried, sitting up straight and pulling me with her.
My hands turned into fists in my lap. Why would he have my name in his hands? It wasn't a real wedding. I only got his name so that the aunties wouldn't point fingers at me. That's why I got his name on my hand, which was barely noticeable.
"Bata na!" Di whined, and I realized I had been staring at her. Blinking, I smiled and lied in an overly obvious tone.
"Haan, dekha hai maine. In fact, tattoo kar liya usne. Khush?" A smile formed on her lips as she giggled and hugged me. Veer and I aren't in love; as far as our family and the world are concerned, this much lying won't hurt.
"Aww, it's so bookish coded. He must have been madly in love with you." I smiled at her reaction, ignoring the last part.
Lying to her made me feel sad because we never really hide things from each other—whether it was getting low marks in school, having a crush, or sneaking chocolate at night despite Mumma's warnings.
Pulling out of the hug, I diverted the topic. "Where's Bruno?" I hadn't seen him since breakfast, when I tricked him into eating his food.
"He's digging a hole in the backyard," she answered, retrieving her phone again before tapping on the Instagram app.
Did she just say Bruno is digging a hole in the backyard? If he is, I'm pretty sure he's covered in dirt by now. I really hope he didn't harm the flowers; otherwise, Mumma will tease me.
Hopping off the bed, I made my way downstairs to the backyard. As I stepped outside, a decent amount of dirt was scattered over the perfect green grass, and two paws were digging into the earth, making the hole deeper.
I closed my eyes for a moment. "Bruno!" I yelled, marching toward him. He showed me his dirt-filled tongue and escaped just as I was about to catch him.
"You seriously want to run now? After the mess you've made!" My voice broke between breaths as I chased him. But he was faster, reminding me of how small he was when I first brought him home.
His paws were so tiny back then that he could barely stand. All he did was sleep for hours and wake up just to fill his little tummy.
A bubble of laughter erupted as I fell to my knees, and he almost climbed on top of me, sniffing my hair to show his affection. "Okay, stop, and sit." He obeyed, sitting back at my command.
Dusting off the dirt from my suit and his face, I muttered, "Let's get you cleaned, varna sara ghar ganda kar doge." I shook my fist at him, luring him to follow me inside.
Once we were indoors, I told one of the servants to clean him up. Then I walked to the living room, where Dadi was folding her clothes as she prepared to leave tomorrow morning.
"Siya," Dadi said as soon as I settled on the couch beside her. Taking a cloth from the stack, I started to fold it.
"Haan, Dadi?" I looked at her face; the wrinkles around her eyes deepened as she smiled. There was a time when she used to smile without those wrinkles, and seeing them now reminded me that she's getting older.
Keeping the clothes in the trolley bag, she asked, "Beta, why don't you come to the village with Veer for a few days? You both should visit the temples there. Abhi kafi accha time hai darshan ke liye." A strange shiver ran down my spine hearing his name.
Keeping my voice low, I turned to her fully and dropped the clothes into the bag. "Umm—" Closing the zip, I cleared my throat. I couldn't say no to Dadi; she rarely asked for anything. After a few seconds, I continued with assurance, "Okay, ghar jaa kar unhe bata dungi. Thik hain?"
"Haan," she smiled widely, nodding in approval, and leaned back on the couch to watch the show.
I contemplated how I would ask Veer to come with me. What if he declines?
After a few minutes, I walked back to my room to pack some things for the trip. Later, at dinner, we all talked, laughed, and created some happy memories together.
After taking a shower, I slumped down on the bed, holding a huge pillow close to me. My grip loosened around it as sleep enveloped me.
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Someone shook my arm, attempting to wake me up, but I nuzzled my face deeper into the pillow. I was having such a nice sleep when suddenly harsh rays fell on my face, making my eyes scrunch.
"Kya hain, Di? Sone do," I whined in frustration, pushing my face into the pillow to block out the light.
"Uth ja, pagal! Veer is downstairs, waiting for you." Instantly, sleep vanished at the mention of his name. Turning to look at Di, I found her already dressed in decent clothes.
My attention shifted to the clock, and I checked the time—it was 8 in the morning. He was early—like really early. Shouldn't he be here at 10 or something? But then realization hit me: he was here and waiting for me.
Throwing the covers off, I nearly stumbled on the floor as I reached for the washroom door. Behind me, Di yelled, "Dhyaan se, take your time!" Closing the door with a loud thud, I stood in front of the mirror and saw my messy hair and the lip oil smudged on my upper lip.
Groaning in frustration, I splashed some water on my face. After grabbing my toothbrush, I spent two minutes getting ready before stripping off my clothes and stepping into the shower with mildly hot water.
By the time I got out of the bathroom, it was 8:30. Di was sitting on the bed scrolling through her phone as I strode to the closet, clutching a robe to my chest.
There were only a few sarees in the closet, but they still left me confused. The red one was something I had worn to my wedding, as were the green and yellow ones from when he dropped me off here.
I shuffled through the hangers on the rack in search of something new. My hands halted at two sarees I hadn't worn yet. Smiling at them, I took them out and walked back to Di.
"Di, which one—blue or this turquoise one?" I asked, holding both sarees in either hand.
Her brows pinched in confusion, and her eyes flicked between the two sarees, making me groan in frustration. Holding them a little higher, I yelled, "Dekha kya rahi ho? Batao!"
If I wasn't getting late—though she said to take my time—we would have started a fight by now, but it wasn't the time for that since Veer was downstairs waiting for me to come so we could go home.
"Kya batau? Dono same hi to hai," Di uttered in a bored tone.
Biting my lower lip in frustration, I asked again, "Dhyaan se dekho aur batao, I'm getting late! Vo niche wait kar rahe hain."
Her eyes narrowed at me before she replied nonchalantly, "Kaun vo?"
I asked for help, and she was asking me, "Kaun vo?"
Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I shouted at her, "Mera pati! Aur kya, mera fufa wait karega?" It was obvious that "vo" meant Veer; still, she had to ask.
To get on my nerves, she laughed and said, "Humari koi bhua nahi hai, pagal. Ye turquoise wala accha hai." I threw a pillow at her, and her laughter died as she looked at me in disbelief.
Keeping an innocent face, I whispered, "But I liked the blue one," because the blue saree suited my skin tone better and made me look like it was glowing.
Betrayal painted her face as she sat straight on the bed and yelled, "Then why did you even ask me? Kya mein itni velli dikhti hoon tujhe?" I nodded my head, then shook it in denial after a second, realizing my mistake.
"Nahi, vo— I just wanted to show you the options. Pehne toh main blue wali hi thi. And velli chhod do, sing a song na. It's been a long time," I pleaded, trying to divert the topic.
Suddenly, her expression fell. She looked down at her lap and said, "I don't have my guitar."
A memory hit me; I remembered that I had bought a guitar back in college, which I never really used. I had bought it because I was really interested in learning, but after seeing how much effort it took, I lost all interest.
Placing the sarees on the bed, I rushed to my closet and opened the last rack. There it was—an old black guitar cover. Taking it out, I dusted the cover and walked back into the room with a grin on my face.
Holding the guitar up in my hands, I placed it on the bed. "But I have," I said. A smile broke on her lips as she took out the guitar and glided her fingers over the strings, creating a beautiful sound.
"Okay—" another smile appeared on her face as her fingers touched the strings again, creating a different sound this time. "—but don't expect me to sing that well; it's been years since I played this." She added as she positioned herself.
I picked the silver embroidered blouse and slipped it on, then wore the matching blue petticoat. The soothing sound of the guitar filled the room as I got ready.
Fakira, that's what she was playing.
Glancing at her, I found her smiling and playing the guitar passionately.
Taking the saree, I started to wrap it around my waist, tucking the hem under the petticoat. Then I held the starting of the pleats in my hand, trying to remember how Veer had done it.
In the background, Di's melodious voice filled the air as she began to sing.
Be-sar-pair ki baatein kar raha hoon,
Ghar hokar bhi beghar phir raha hoon,
Folding the pleats, I observed them, and a smile appeared on my face as they were perfectly arranged. Tucking them into the petticoat, I grabbed a pin and secured them, letting my pallu cascade down my right shoulder.
Taare gin gin din ko raat,
Raat ko din kar rahi hoon.
Standing in front of the mirror, I applied kajal and then placed a bindi between my brows. Getting ready like this was fun; a bubble of laughter erupted, but it soon faded as I held the small box of vermilion in my hands.
Tu puchh nahin haal fakira da,
Mileya je maahi mera, mainu mileya.
Shuqar manaawan taqdeeran da.
Seeing the vermilion again reminded me of my wedding day—the way he filled my partition with it and smiled at me made my stomach twist and heat rise all over my body. I felt the same sensation when I was getting ready the day before I came here.
Releasing a deep breath, I took some vermilion and applied it, followed by the mangalsutra that adorned my neck.
Baithe baithe main yeh sochun,
Tu sang betha ho to,
Mil ke batein hongi do do,
Umr yoon hi kaatein hum do.
Di's voice brought me back from my thoughts, but the lyrics pulled me back to that night when we were sitting on the balcony and had a little talk.
We hadn't talked much, but the silence was loud enough to keep us awake in each other's presence. Eventually, tiredness overcame me, and the next thing I remembered was waking up on the bed with a hand wrapped around my waist.
Remembering that made heat creep up my body, and I shook my head. Dwelling on that warmth wasn't helpful, so I focused on myself, fixed my pallu, and told Di to stop and come downstairs with me.
𖤐
It had been fifteen minutes since we stood in front of the car. Papa was talking to Veer, while Mumma and Avni were saying something to me that I couldn't really hear because my attention was diverted to the person speaking to my father so politely.
Veer, my husband.
The way he stood there with his hands in front of him, listening carefully to what Papa was saying, made me smile internally.
Their conversation seemed to be wrapping up, as they both smiled. Veer leaned down to touch Papa's feet, but Papa held his shoulder before pulling him into a hug.
I shifted my attention from them to Mumma and Di as I saw them walking in our direction. Mumma said something, but I couldn't hear it.
Suddenly, the sound of my heart beating seemed to be louder than anything else as I watched Veer walking toward me until he stood beside me.
Mumma said something to him, but I was so captivated by his presence that I didn't notice his hand brushing against mine. Blinking a few times, I looked around to regain my senses.
Another brush of his hand against mine, and my eyes met a familiar pair of hazel ones; my father.
tugging the hem of his coat's sleeve, I pulled him a little closer before whispering, "chalein?" I asked as standing here in front of my parents is making me feel a little awkward because we're married now.
I held his index finger and tugged it as he didn't seem to answer, few seconds later, his black eyes looked down at me and a small smile was curved on his lips as he said, "haan chalo."
He intertwined his fingers with mine, gently holding my hand. My eyes widened at his gesture, and my heart raced.
"We should leave now," he said, looking at my parents as if he wasn't holding my hand in front of them. Diverting my gaze to them, I saw them smiling, then Mumma's eyes moved down to our intertwined hands.
Instinctively, I pulled my hand back and walked toward her, pulling her into a hug. "Bye, Mumma," I said, planting a kiss on her cheek.
When I was in school, the best part of my day was hugging Mumma; she always made me feel safe.
Next, I moved to hug Avni Di, squeezing her tightly as I muttered, "Take care of Bruno, or else you'll see the dangerous version of me." I threatened her because I wasn't taking Bruno with me right now.
I still had to move my things, and having Bruno would create chaos—not to mention my husband had a cat.
After hugging Di, I walked to Dad, and my eyes began to hurt as if something were piercing through them—traitor tears. Standing in front of him, I opened my arms and wrapped them around his torso, feeling safe in his embrace.
"It was nice to talk with you, Papa," I whispered as I looked up at him. A smile was on his face, mirroring mine. His thumb wiped away the lone tear that cascaded down my cheek. A chuckle escaped his mouth as he said, "Let's meet again so we can talk more, okay?"
I smiled widely. "Hmm, okay." My voice was low as I pulled back. Talking to Papa over these two days had been the best I could have asked for, and I felt like we had opened up to each other a little more.
In these two days, Papa and I talked a lot. We reminisced about our first picnic date when I was five years old.
He even showed me pictures from that day—me sitting on Papa's shoulders, a wide smile on my face as I held an ice cream cone in my hands. Those memories felt like a warm embrace, reminding me of the joy and love that has always been between us.
I waved at everyone while keeping a smile on my face. "Bye!" I exclaimed, turning to face Veer, who already had his eyes on me.
As I took a step forward, he opened the passenger seat door, and I heard a throat-clearing sound from the back—it was obviously Avni Di. Heat crept up my cheeks at his gesture of opening the door for a girl whose parents stood just behind her.
Tucking a loose strand behind my ear, I hurried over to him and settled into the car. Suddenly, he bent down, making my eyes widen. But then he picked up my pallu, which was falling out of the door frame, and placed it in my lap before closing the door gently.
Circling around the car, he took his seat beside me. Instead of looking at him, I gazed out to see my family still standing there. I waved them off, smiling at them, trying to ignore the heat rising in my face from his earlier gesture.
Taking a deep breath for encouragement, I finally turned toward him. A smile adorned his lips, deepening the dimple that appeared. I mirrored his smile as he started the car and veered toward home.
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A sudden halt made me aware of my surroundings. We were still in the car, and the traffic light had just turned red. It had been twenty minutes since we left my parents' house, and neither of us had tried to speak.
So, twenty minutes of dead silence.
Suddenly, a lady knocked on his side of the window, draped in a dark blue shawl, with a dozen roses in her hands. She was about to knock again when Veer slid the window open.
Her eyes landed on me before moving to Veer. "Mashallah, kitni khoobsurat begum hai. Ek gulab to lena banta hai," she exclaimed, displaying the red roses.
Heat crept up my cheeks as Veer turned to face me. His intense black eyes gazed at me longer than necessary, sending a rush through my heart. I gripped my phone a little tighter as I looked into his eyes, mirroring his gaze.
A smile formed on his lips as he turned back to the woman. "Ek kyu, sare gulab de dijiye," he said. The lady's face lit up as she smiled. After handing her the money, Veer took the roses from her as she began to bless us.
'Allah tum dono hamesha khush rakhe,' she said.
Then, she circled the car before standing by my side of the window. I immediately opened it. A smile was on her face as she leaned in and said in a low voice,
"Allah ne kafi accha shohar diya hai tumhe. Meri dua hamesha tumhare sath hain," before walking away.
Her words echoed in my head as the view of the red roses filled my vision. I turned to look at Veer; he was holding the roses out to me. "Roses for begum," he said, and a chuckle escaped me. I had received many flowers, but never like this.
"Shukriya," I thanked him, taking the roses from his hands. I motioned to the front, pointing at the green light.
He started the car, and this time a song played on the radio, filling the silence between us until we reached home.
𖤐
I walked out of the bathroom, wearing a black pajama set. Glancing at the wall clock, I checked the time: 10:30 PM. Walking towards the dressing table, I applied some lotion on my legs.
Veer had gone to the office after dropping me home. After that, I talked to Maa and told her about what Dadi had asked, to which she excitedly replied that we should definitely go there.
Taking some face moisturizer, I applied it gently to my skin. Maa mentioned that Veer would be late tonight because he often came home late on Saturdays.
Closing the lid of the moisturizer, I turned back, and the bottle slipped from my hands.
Veer was sitting on the couch, drinking water, but his eyes were on me—watching me shatter the bottle of moisturizer.
Shaking my head, I bent down to pick up the broken pieces of glass, but a hand stopped me. "I'll do it," he said, his voice low, or maybe it just felt that way because he was so close.
"It's okay, I can—" he cut me off. "You'll hurt yourself. Just stay there; I'll clean this." Holding my shoulders, he gently pushed me down onto the couch.
Pushing his tie down, he yanked it off and tossed it onto the dressing table. My eyes dropped to his hands as he folded the sleeves of his white shirt up to his elbows, revealing veiny arms.
I was mesmerized until he disappeared into the closet and returned with two small cloths. Bending down, he picked up the broken glass with one cloth and cleaned the cream with the other.
I stood up and walked behind him as he headed into the bathroom to throw the cloths away. My eyes never left his calm face, and then I asked almost in a whisper, "Khana khaya tumne?"
His black eyes locked with my hazel ones. He shook his head in denial. "Nahi, tumne?" he asked slowly as he turned on the faucet to wash his hands.
"Haan, mein khana le aati hu phir tumhare liye," I replied, offering him a towel. A very soft and subtle smile curved on his lips as he took the towel and nodded at me.
Turning around, I went downstairs and heated up the food. After serving it on a plate, I went back to the room and placed the plate on the table, waiting for him to come out.
A few minutes later, he walked out of the closet wearing black sweatpants and a black T-shirt that slightly stretched over his muscular frame.
He sat beside me, and I shifted the plate in front of him. I smiled faintly when he started to eat.
"Dadi said that we should visit her in the village to get blessings from my hometown's temples." I broke the silence between us. He nodded as he continued to eat.
I sat up straight, asking him again, "So, you'll go with me?" I slid the glass of water to him as he finished eating.
My eyes drifted to the motion of his Adam's apple, and a memory hit me. I scrunched my eyes tightly. Reading that book yesterday really made me mad. I opened my eyes when he answered, "Haan, and when do we have to go?"
"In two days, as Dadi said, 'Abhi kaafi accha time hai darshan ke liye.'" I mimicked the last part in Dadi's style, remembering how brightly she had smiled at that time.
He chuckled.
The softness of his laugh felt nice. The way his eyes squinted slightly and the way his dimple appeared for a moment before disappearing made me realize I was admiring his smile.
But then, the smile on his lips dropped suddenly, and a wave of embarrassment washed over me.
Biting my lower lip, I muttered, "I'll go see Bella," and immediately walked toward the balcony, closing the door behind me.
Placing my hand over my chest, I tried to cool my heated body. I decided to stay here until he fell asleep because there was no way I was going to embarrass myself again in front of him.
Dropping my hand, I moved to Bella. An "aww" escaped me as I saw her playing with her toys. "Aww, you're such a cutie, Bella. I'm here to wish you good night," I whispered, patting her head. Her small paws left the toy and curled around my hand, almost gripping it.
I laughed at her attempts to hold my hand. A few minutes passed, and then they turned into thirty.
Checking my phone, I saw the time: it was 11:30 now, and no sound had come from the room for the past fifteen minutes, which meant he had fallen asleep.
Glancing at Bella's sleeping figure, I tiptoed and opened the door ever so quietly. Peeking inside, I saw Veer lying on the bed with his back toward me.
A smile spread across my lips as I placed my phone on the table before sliding into bed.
Turning sideways, I faced Veer's back. A strange realization hit me: I found peace in his presence, just as I always had. I vividly remembered the day I fainted, and how he took care of me without saying anything.
Or on the wedding day, when he held my hands and assured me during the car ride. The pace of my heart intensified as I remembered those moments, and I forced my eyes closed until they naturally shut in sleep.
A shriek escaped my mouth as I felt someone biting my arm. My hands instinctively wrapped around Veer's bicep, gripping it tightly.
Veer's other hand wrapped around my waist in no time, the rough texture of his palm gliding over my bare stomach.
"What happened?" he asked, sounding alert. Before gripping my waist tightly, I stammered, "I-I think some insect just bit me."
Suddenly, the warmth of his touch left my body. He turned around, switched on the lights, and sat up straight.
Holding my arm gently, he made me sit as well, causing my head to fall on his shoulder in the process.
My heart raced at the proximity as he leaned in to inspect my arm. His hair was ruffled, and his eyes were barely open as he glided his finger around the scratch ever so gently.
Leaving me on the bed, he walked to my side and bent down to see what had bitten me, but my eyes were slightly closed in fear. Then a meowing sound snatched my attention immediately.
Opening my eyes, I turned and saw a little devil in Veer's hand. His eyes were fixed on Bella before he uttered,
"She often does that to sleep on the bed, I mean by taking support of anything to climb on it. And don't worry, she didn't bite you; it was just a scratch." He finished by dropping Bella on the floor.
My eyes looked at Bella in disbelief as Veer opened the side drawer and pulled out a first aid kit. Taking it out, he sat beside me, his back slightly grazing my knees, which made me shift backward until my back touched the headrest.
Taking out an ointment, he said, "It'll sting a bit," before applying some on my arm, almost caressing the scratched skin. And honestly it doesn't sting.
"Thanks," I said as he finished applying the ointment and put the box back in the drawer. I felt his eyes on me, so instead of looking at him, I focused on the little devil. She had already hopped onto the bed and was rolling in the blanket, almost playing with it.
'Such a traitor, Bella. I wished you goodnight, and this is what you did to me,' I thought internally, shaking my head in disbelief.
I thought she liked me.
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